When I was younger I used to ride the school bus to and from school every day. We had a really strict driver, Mrs. Schmit, who would arrange us on the bus based on age. The youngest in the front, to the oldest in the back. I remember thinking, every year as my seat moved closer and closer to those coveted back seats, that once I got there I will have reached full adulthood, and in many ways I believed I had. I thought I knew everything and all I needed was the adult life and I would blow everyone away. Obviously I was wrong. With the adult life came the adult responsibilities I had never had to think about before; rent, insurance, gas money, college debt, a real job. I had always been aware of these things, but I assumed I wouldn't have any trouble mastering all of them, like I had some knowledge of the world no one before me had ever found. Now I am twenty three and finally in a position to look for the beginning of a true career. I'm done with school, engaged to an amazing human being, and all I can think about is beginning our life together as "true adults". Nicky, my fiance, has warned me quite a few times not to get so caught up in the future; that living for tomorrow makes it impossible for us to enjoy the time we have now. And it is hard, especially being in a long distance relationship with someone on the other side of the Atlantic, but I always tell myself it will be so worth it once we're finally together for real. But Nicky is right. All the times I ignore the very present responsibilities and opportunities for the benefit of the future, I am in many ways just limiting my future, as well as not enjoying the present. And really, every moment is the present at some point. So am I really going to spend my whole life looking toward an impossible future that will never come? I recently purchased a Day Designer as my daily planner. Most people probably don't know, but I have been on the hunt for the perfect planner for at least the past four years. I never managed to find exactly what I wanted, and would end up making my own in notebooks and never being truly satisfied. Until now. My Day Designer is exactly what I needed. I write down my plans to the hour, and keep track of everything I need to get done, and everything I am grateful for every day. I find myself having more time to relax and do things I enjoy doing because I make time to do them. I know I may not be a full adult yet, but I am on my way. I'm taking my time, enjoying the moments, and feeling accomplishment instead of disappointment. I'm still working toward the future I want to have, but I'm not ignoring what I am blessed enough to have right now as a result.
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