Let me start off by saying I have made this controversial American classic exactly three times before today. My first personal encounter with this dish (as the chef as opposed to just a simple spectator) happened almost exactly three years ago. I was the Head Chef at a Christan children's camp at 20 years old and waaaay over my head. Although we didn't have internet access for quick inspiration and research in case of emergencies, I did get cellphone service if I stood very still in one very specific spot by the back door of the kitchen. I was also fortunate enough to have an amazing family back home with endless knowledge (and internet access) whom I could call if I got in a tight spot. (This brings up memories of the Too Many Bananas dilemma, but that's a story for another time.)
I'm not totally sure how I got in the position of needing to have a pulled pork recipe for about 75 people the morning of (most likely my own procrastination and donated pork loins) but whatever the case, I was in a majorly sticky situation. Luckily my Aunt Nancy came to my rescue and gave me a brief rundown of the basics so I wasn't heading in totally blind. With a newly found confidence I charged into the pantry to find one very small, very sad, half empty container of Sweet Baby Ray's (be still my beating heart) and definitely no hope of having enough for a dish that, where I am from, is basically Barbeque Sauce ft. "Pork".
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I have recently been living with my fiancé in Utrecht, The Netherlands. Now, I know you must be thinking, "How can she title this post what she did, and start off with that?" And to be honest, I am totally on board with you. However, despite my totally awesome time here in ~Europe~ with my ~European Fiancé~ (which sounds totally fancy, I know) the fact is I am really struggling in my search for a more permanent solution in terms of residency. Unlike America, where it's relatively easy to just stay in the country once you're married, the Netherlands doesn't offer such simplicity. With my fiancé and I being so young, he is still studying, which means he can't sponsor me. So it's up to me to find a job that will not only hire me, but sponsor me as well. I have been searching and applying for jobs for at least six months, and I have applied to hundreds of positions in every field imaginable. And yet, somehow, have managed to turn up with exactly nothing. Not even an interview, or a callback.
When I was younger I used to ride the school bus to and from school every day. We had a really strict driver, Mrs. Schmit, who would arrange us on the bus based on age. The youngest in the front, to the oldest in the back. I remember thinking, every year as my seat moved closer and closer to those coveted back seats, that once I got there I will have reached full adulthood, and in many ways I believed I had. I thought I knew everything and all I needed was the adult life and I would blow everyone away. Obviously I was wrong. With the adult life came the adult responsibilities I had never had to think about before; rent, insurance, gas money, college debt, a real job. I had always been aware of these things, but I assumed I wouldn't have any trouble mastering all of them, like I had some knowledge of the world no one before me had ever found.
Now I am twenty three and finally in a position to look for the beginning of a true career. I'm done with school, engaged to an amazing human being, and all I can think about is beginning our life together as "true adults". Nicky, my fiance, has warned me quite a few times not to get so caught up in the future; that living for tomorrow makes it impossible for us to enjoy the time we have now. And it is hard, especially being in a long distance relationship with someone on the other side of the Atlantic, but I always tell myself it will be so worth it once we're finally together for real. |